Stranger (Things Have Happened): A Sincere Reflection On Risk That Dissolves Into A Very Insincere Piece Of Pseudo-Dramatic Writing.

Two days ago, I lit a match for the first time.
Yesterday, I talked to a stranger online for the first time.
I'm taking risks, Mom and Dad.
I'm living.
Everyone's doing it.
I found the match in a matchbox.
I found the stranger on a website.
A website that invites you to "Talk to strangers!" (its tagline, written in a font that doesn't take itself seriously enough to convince you that you're breaking a cardinal rule of childhood safety.)
I still look both ways when I cross the street (even when it's just a one-way street).
I still wash my hands before I eat (even when I'm just watching other people eat).
I'm not corrupt. Not like Goldman Sachs is corrupt.
That counts for something, right?

***

STRANGER: A New Play That's Really Dramatic And Avant-Garde And Stuff Plato Brecht Catharsis, It's All Here, Guys.

By The Playwright Formerly Known As Katie Eisenberg

A dim wash of light comes up on an empty stage. YOU, a twenty year-old woman who is definitely not Katie Eisenberg, stands in a hot spotlight, downstage right. STRANGER, a man, or maybe not, stands directly behind her.

STRANGER: lookin for horny female
YOU: Yeah
STRANGER: u
YOU: Me too.
YOU: No, looking.
STRANGER: yea
STRANGER: its a bitch
YOU: Haha.
YOU: Well, hope you find one, man.
STRANGER: good luck
VOICE: Your conversation partner has disconnected.

A ten-second fade to black, during which a mime troupe enters upstage left and begins to pantomime an orgy.