i understand why men seem to think we're crazy.

my father saw the ophthalmologist today, the same one my mother and i saw earlier in the week. apparently, she told him that i have the most beautiful blue eyes she's ever seen. i don't know whether this actually happened or whether my father embellished her compliment so he could praise my eyes yet again, but that's all beside the point (if there is a point at all).

when i went to see her, she commented on how lucky i was to have such large pupils. i don't know how this makes me lucky other than not requiring dilation, since my pupils were large enough to examine without being artificially forced to enlarge. i guess this also means i see more light than people with normal-sized pupils. perhaps that's partly the reason why i find sunlight to be absolutely breathtaking, even if it does make me sneeze and, on some occasions, cry (though i think this last portion has to do with my iris color [a little too blue for an overcast sky, a little too grey for ice] and how supposedly "sensitive" blue eyes are. go figure).

it's no surprise that i have large eyes. they're almost abnormally big, and i do like them, but they're big without being doe-like. thus (and to the men, i'm sorry if you start to lose me any my "logic"), i cannot wear bangs. i am not audrey hepburn, nor am i french; large doe-eyes, high cheekbones and the ability to wear short bangs and long hair successfully seem to be reserved for these two categories of women: french, and audrey look-a-likes. thus, my hair is nice, but boring — long without much flavor to it — and my glasses must be very particular. contacts, a, are bothersome, and b, would make me look like a dolt, since i definitely have developed a redness to my face everywhere other than where my glasses shield my eyes.

sometimes, i wish i were french. or audrey. or simply could wear bangs and suck it up and make those contacts work.

alas, i'm stuck with glasses that are 5 years old, on a quest to find new ones that don't make me look like a pretentious hipster so i can fill my new prescription.

i will, however, suck it up and look like a pretentious hipster for the sake of some prescription ray-bans. if no-one can see my eyes behind the polarization effect, then perhaps it'll be fine. perhaps i'll stop crying in the presence of the sun.