It Tastes Like Dirt, But When I Say Dirt, I Mean It In A Good Way, Like Earth. I Should Have Said, "It Tastes Like Earth," But It's A Little Late Now.

I was going to begin this by describing the cup of coffee itself, which, at the time, was only half-full.
And now you see my predicament, of course. You see why I said "I was going to begin this..." instead of just beginning it.
Because everyone expects you to describe a cup of coffee that is, in fact, half filled with coffee and half filled with the absence of coffee, as either half-full or half-empty, but you, of all people, should know the connotations that each of those classifications carries.
I was going to begin this by mentioning that it was a half-full cup of coffee, but then they might say, "Well, she would say that, wouldn't she? Always the optimist, never the bride."
To which I would reply:
"I mean, hey, man, you know, I totally describe things as half-empty sometimes too, man. Fuck it, man, you don't even know, sometimes I describe things as completely empty, so just try and get at me, just try and get at my level, just try and tell me I'm one of those half-full bitches, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead."
I was going to begin this by describing the cup of coffee itself, which I didn't even have to do, really, considering that it isn't the point of the story. But it is! Oh, God, it is.
Because there was a police siren wailing in the distance, the distance that quickly became not-so-distant, not-so-distant to the point where I might have to go back and edit my phrasing to read, "there was a police siren wailing in the closeness."
And this cup of coffee, in its state of halfness, heard the siren, in its state of closeness, and took it in, took it in with such great generosity and openness, that it began to vibrate in my hands.
And so this cup of coffee was no longer half-full, half-empty, half-Jewish, half-heterosexual (which some might call bisexual, I suppose, but I'd call them wrong). It was filled to the brim with coffee and sound, which, remarkably, are not immiscible substances.
And it was so, so full, yet none of it spilled over the top.
It's the type of thing that makes you realize you've become addicted to coffee, addicted to sound, addicted to fullness.